Dear Levi: 6 Months

 My precious Levi~

6 months ago you made your appearance in this world and brought so much joy to so many hearts. You were in your mommy and daddy's lives long before that day and you will be in our hearts forever. Today is a hard day for me because i can't help but thinking about all that you would be doing now. You were already trying to crawl at three months so i have no doubt you would be all over the place and getting into everything. I wouldn't mind. You would be eating all sorts of food now and i'm pretty sure your big sister would get into trouble for trying to feed you things you couldn't have because she would want you to do everything she does. My heart aches because more than anything i miss seeing your smile and feeling your quiet spirit. I know that i have never met anyone with such a gentle spirit and because of knowing your spirit, i now understand what the true beauty is that is described in 1 Peter 3. Although i can't help but miss you more than you know, in my spirit i want nothing more than for you to remain with your creator and to forever feel the joy you must be experiencing now. I long for the day when i can feel what you are feeling now and i can do nothing but give thanks that you don't have to experience the heartache and the pain that this world often brings. I hated so much to hear you cry and now you never have to shed a tear again. And it is this that gives me great comfort. 6 months sounds so very short but to us it has been so very long...I try to imagine you crawling around the feet of your father in heaven and getting into His things :) And I know He doesn't mind. There isn't a day that i don't think of you and there isn't a moment that i don't learn from who you are and what you were created to be. Soon it will be fall and i will think about how i would love to take some funny pictures of you with your sister by the pumpkins. I have no doubt you would probably look much like a pumpkin if dressed in orange now :) You are still my little pumpkin and you will still be with us. I love you more than all the stars in the sky...and all the leaves that will soon be falling. Happy half birthday Levi Andrew..

Love Forever from mommy, daddy, and Laila Hope <3

French Toast on Thursday

Thursday i woke up to a sleeping three year old (which is rare) and decided to surprise my angel. Laila LOVES pancakes and french toast, or really anything with syrup and bread. Usually we don't have things like that during the week and she is constantly asking for it, so i decided to make french toast on Thursday to surprise her.

It seems so simple but one of my most favorite things as a mom is the element of surprise :) I like to be consistent, especially with Laila because she often needs it, but i LOVE the look on her face when i do something out of the ordinary. Sometimes i think our babies need to see us as human beings who love to have fun like they do and i think in the end they respect us more for it.

Laila: "You made french toast for me mommy?! Yay!"

French toast on Thursday is the best :)

Stay Joyful,

~Sarah~

A little song on my heart

Wrote this little song a few years ago and its really on my heart tonight...

 Hineni (Hineni means 'Here I am' in Hebrew)

You have called me beloved
In the still of the night
You have taken my hand
Wiped the tears from my eyes

Oh how can i run from your warm embrace?
Or hide myself from your glorious face?
For you are my everything, Oh how i need you
No matter where i am, You always find me..

And you cry Hineni
You say Here I am
You whisper Hineni
Beloved Here I am
You cry Hineni
You say Here I am
You whisper Hineni
Beloved Here I am

Your love is consuming
Every fiber, every cell of my being
I'll take Your hand for I am ready
Lets dance, to the song of Your love

Oh how can i resist you when You're so near?
Feeling Your breath on my soul
For you are my everything, Oh how i need You
No matter where I am, You always find me...

And you cry Hineni
You say Here I am
You whisper Hineni
Beloved Here I am
You cry Hineni
You say Here I am
You whisper Hineni
Beloved Here I am

And I heard the voice of the Lord saying
Whom shall I send?
Whom shall I send?
Who will go for us?

Oh Lord Hineni!
Abba Here I am
Jesus Hineni
Abba send me to do your will!
Oh Lord Hineni!
Abba Here I am
Jesus Hineni
Abba send me to do your will!
Abba send me to do your will!

Here I am,
Send me..


Stay willing as a servant and always joyful,

~Sarah~

Easy Beef and Hashbrown Bake- Yum!

This week i was in a bind and had to make dinner quick and pretty late in the evening. I had come across this beef and hash brown recipe early in the week and bookmarked it, so i decided to try it. OMG this was amazing! I mean, if you want to eat the most wonderful comfort food and possibly gain a few pounds :) Not only was it delicious, it took hardly any time and was soooo easy to prep. And no, i did not manage to get a picture because this casserole went so fast! Here's the recipe:


Beef and Hash brown Bake

4 Cups of Frozen Hash Browns
3 Tablespoons Vegetable Oil
1/8 teaspoon of pepper
1 pound ground beef
1 cup water
1 3/4 ounces gravy mix (I used brown gravy mix)
1/2 teaspoon garlic salt
1 cup shredded cheddar cheese
1 can fried onions
10 ounces fresh mixed vegetables (I omitted these and cooked a veggie on the side)


1.    Preheat oven to 400 degrees

2.    Combine hash browns, oil, and pepper in a 9x13 inch casserole dish. Press around bottom and      sides.

3.    Bake for 15 minutes

4.    Brown beef and then drain.

5.    Stir in gravy, water, and garlic salt; boil.

6.    Add mixed veggies, reduce heat, and cook for ten minutes.

7.    Stir in 1/2 cup of cheese and 1/2 can of onions

8.    Place in potato shell

9.    Reduce oven to 350 degrees F.

10.  Bake uncovered for 15 minutes.

11.  Sprinkle with remaining cheese and onion

12.  Bake 5 more minutes.


There you go! Like i said in the ingredients section, i did not choose to put the veggies in the casserole and instead chose to cook veggies separate. I really loved the outcome! This recipe is easily altered to fit what you like so have fun experimenting!

Stay Joyful,

~Sarah~

Ingredients 4 cups frozen hash browns 3 tablespoons vegetable oil 1/8 teaspoon pepper 1 pound ground beef 1 cup water 1 3/4 ounces gravy mix 1/2 teaspoon garlic salt 1 cup shredded cheddar 1 can fried onions 10 ounces frozen mixed vegetables See Timeless Grilling Tips Instructions Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Combine hash browns, oil and pepper in a 9x13 inch casserole dish. Press around bottom and sides. Bake for 15 minutes. Brown beef and then drain. Stir in gravy, water and garlic salt; boil. Add mixed veggies. Reduce heat and cook 10 minutes. Stir in 1/2 cup cheese and 1/2 can onions. Place in potato shell. Reduce oven heat to 350 degrees F. Bake uncovered for 15 minutes. Sprinkle with remaining cheese and onion. Bake 5 more minutes.
Read more at http://www.recipelion.com/Casserole-Recipes/Beef-and-Hash-Brown-Bake/ml/1#upVVLYDyYK1YfArM.99

Pilates!

So recently I started doing pilates to get some exercise in and some Me time. I was pretty sure i would enjoy doing pilates from what i had heard but i didn't realize just how much i would love it! It's so similar to dance which is what i truly love and it's super relaxing in a similar way to yoga. For all the moms out there, one of my very favorite things about this, is that i can manage to do it with Laila around because its so slow and interruptions don't quite matter as much. I LOVE feeling my body work in ways it hasn't in years since i was in dance and it really gives me time to think about strength and purpose in life.

I also have been contemplating the idea of our bodies being a temple and what that means in everyday life. Most of our focus as Christians is guarding ourselves spiritually and making sure we are spiritually pure and connected with our savior which is unbelievably important! Recently i have been really convicted about the physical aspect of this concept because I don't always take the best care of my body, especially when i am depressed or tired. If our bodies are given to us by the creator to do His will in this life, shouldn't we take the best care of ourselves that we can?! The amazing thing about this is that when i am keeping my body strong, my mind and my spirit tend to follow. As i stretch my muscles to their limit I am reminded of what i am capable of both spiritually and physically with the strength of Christ in me. Wonderful and amazing!

For those of you wondering, the program i have been following is called BLOGILATES and its a free website with a ton of inspiring videos and schedules.

What ways do you strengthen your temple? (Especially with little ones around!)

Stay focused, beautiful, and always Joyful,

~Sarah~

Encouragement

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."- Isaiah 41:10

I really have been encouraged today by this verse and thought i would share. Whether you lose a job or lose a child, life is rough...If i didnt have hope in Christ, I don't know that i would be able to bear it. I LOVE that in this verse God is saying 'do not be dismayed, for I am your God'. Just the fact that He is our God is enough! Because of this we have nothing to fear or to worry about. Every moment of every day is held within His hand, and nothing can happen that is outside of His will. This is so very comforting. We may not know His plan, but we do know that His plan is better whatever it is.

This has been my favorite song lately and I hope that it will encourage you like it has me.

Stay Joyful,

~Sarah~

Only for a little while...

Today we went to church at Watermark (we have been visiting) and the message really was perfect for where we are right now. God truly knows what we need most and the words found in John 16 spoken in today's message really spoke to both Josh and I. 

  

"Very truly I tell you, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy. A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world. So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy." (John 16:20-22)

In these passages our savior is telling his disciples (which includes us) that this world is full of pain and suffering! We WILL have to endure grief and in fact, most of this life will be painful because we live in a world ruled by darkness. At first this seems discouraging because we are being told that if we follow HIM we will endure much pain and suffering and that for those who follow God, this life is not meant to be one of comfort. But this is truly meant to encourage us. This life is painful and rough because our lives are meant to be used to bring others to Christ. We will endure many hardships so that others can see the glory of the most high and turn to Him. I love the analogy of the woman giving birth. This speaks to me of course having gone through natural child birth. This life is just like the birthing process. Just like the pain of giving birth this life seems sooo very long and painful and like it will never end sometimes. But we have hope! Just like a woman forgets the pain of child birth because of the overwhelming joy at the end, we will one day forget the sorrows of this world as we experience the glory of the next. 

This really spoke to me because so often our perspective is distorted. We view this world as a place for us to find pleasure and comfort and most often our actions are guided by what we want. But truly in these words we can see that we are not here just to enjoy life. We have a mission on this earth! We were sent here as warriors for our savior, to bring others to his kingdom with us. Everything that we must endure is for that purpose. And Jesus (Yeshua) tells us that the time we have to endure this world is very little compared to an eternity with Him. This gives me much hope. I would much rather have to endure the pain of this world for a short time and spend an eternity with my Father than to enjoy this life for a short time and spend an eternity in Hell. 

If we have to endure trials for a short time on this earth so that others can enter the kingdom of God, than it is ALL worth the cost. And specifically with me...God is really working on my heart right now and in my spirit i really reached a new level of peace today. I know that Levi was given and taken for a purpose and that his short life will be a witness to many. Knowing this, if having to live without my baby for this life (just a little while) will bring others into eternal life in Gods kingdom, is it not all worth it? My spirit is telling me that it is. As much pain and heartache as i have had to go through and will continue to experience, i am learning that the trade is worth it. And besides, we are promised that we never have to go through this alone. How amazing is that?! 

 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

Take heart! YOU are never alone and as dark and dim as it seems sometimes, our God has overcome the world! Darkness has not won, is not winning, and will never win. The pain is for a little while, but Joy is forever.

So Stay Joyful my friends,

~Sarah~

Organizing and Stewardship..

"Every faculty you have, your power of thinking or of moving your limbs from moment to moment, is given to you by God. If you devoted every moment of your whole life exclusively to His service, you could not give Him anything that was not in a sense His own already. " - C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity


This past weekend and the beginning of this week was spent organizing and cleaning with the help of my wonderful grandma. We cleaned up rooms and spent a lot of time organizing baby clothes and things into containers for storage. As we were working on these things the topic that was on my mind almost constantly was stewardship. Even before this week this had really been on my heart and mind with everything that has happened lately and i think the circumstances have really opened my eyes to what this really means. Everything we are given is God's and our job is to take care of these things to the best of our ability. This means our physical things, our bodies, and our children. I guess i never really understood the concept of our children not being ours until God decided to take Levi back home. It was in that moment that i realized that he was never ours to begin with, we were just given him for a season to take care of and love. This concept applies to everything in our lives! I think this quote sums it up nicely:

"Although God gives us "all things richly to enjoy," nothing is ours. Nothing really belongs to us. God owns everything; we're responsible for how we treat it and what we do with it. While we complain about our rights here on earth, the Bible constantly asks, What about your responsibilities? Owners have rights; stewards have responsibilities."

I run across people every day that are so caught up in themselves that they fail to see how selfishly they are living. Don't get me wrong, more often than not, i am the same way. I do things based upon what i want in the moment, not considering that the things i have been given (including my time) are not mine to use as i wish. YES God wants us to be joyful and enjoy the moments we are given! But we cannot fully enjoy these moments unless they are directed by His will. I think a lot of times also we feel like we are 'taking care' of the things we have been given but this concept is not always what we think it is. Sometimes taking care of our children doesn't mean always keeping them safe. It means letting them do what God has called them to do even if in our minds this seems dangerous. I think the best way to describe how we should take care of something is that we should do with everything we have, what God would do with it if He were in our position. This is an interesting and sometimes difficult concept for me to grasp! If He were here what would He do with my children? If He were here would this house be a wreck most of the time? Probably not. If He were here would this house be a wreck if someone else needed his time and ministry? You betcha!

I know that i will fail in this aspect every single day. But i do believe that if we view things as not really being ours, we would go about life so very differently. If nothing we have is ours, then if God decides to take something away for a season, we have no reason to be angry or upset. This ultimately would result in a lot more peace in our lives. Just food for thought.

Stay Joyful,

~Sarah~


"The earth is the Lord's and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it." - Psalm 24:1

- C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

- See more at: http://blog.tifwe.org/four-principles-of-biblical-stewardship/#sthash.UmzXyJ3J.dpuf

"Every faculty you have, your power of thinking or of moving your limbs from moment to moment, is given you by God. If you devoted every moment of your whole life exclusively to His service, you could not give Him anything that was not in a sense His own already. 

- C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

- See more at: http://blog.tifwe.org/four-principles-of-biblical-stewardship/#sthash.UmzXyJ3J.dpuf

Zoo and Cousins!

This week my cousin Kate and her sweet girls Gwen, Alice, and Tabitha are here for a visit from Killeen. We have had a great time watching the kids play together and get to know each other better. I am kinda surprised we haven't broken something tripping over all the toys scattered around the house though. Those kids sure know how to make a mess! Its fun being able to spend time with family because more and more I am realizing the value of having those connections. We take family and friends for granted too often and I believe we should try to be close with those that we can.

One of the fun (and sometimes stressful) things about the girls playing together, is getting to watch them learn to play with another little person. Its hard when they don't have kids their age around often (Kate and I are both stay at home mommies) and so its been a learning process for them having another kid around to share toys and space with. Listening in on their arguments is fun because it shows just how intelligent they already are and how their tiny little brains are already processing so many things. As I was listening (and video taping..lol) one of their funny arguments, I thought to myself, 'I wonder if us adults sound this silly when we get into arguments with each other?' I wouldn't doubt it! Makes me think about how often we get onto our little ones for things and yet continue to display the same attitudes in our own relationships. Definitely something to think about.

So today we got the kids ready fairly early and packed them all in the truck to head to the Dallas Zoo. Laila has been a couple times but Gwen had never been before today so we thought it would be fun for her especially. As soon as we got there the kids were so excited to see the animals and it was hard to keep their little hands in mine! The first exhibit they saw (and the favorite) was the penguins. They were so fascinated by the penguins swimming around under the water and they had fun pressing their noses against the glass to watch. We then walked through the large animal exhibits and saw the Elephants, Giraffes (my favorite), Cheetahs, and Lions. The girls were amazed to see such large animals so close. Both Gwen and Laila told us that they were planning on riding one of the elephants. I love how their little minds work! They make me laugh. We tried to see the gorillas but because of the heat they were all hiding under an observation building so we couldn't see them. By about two hours in the girls were exhausted and hungry so we decided to pack up and head back home. Of course, the girls had to stop at the penguins again! It didn't hurt that their were also misters by the penguins so it was nice and cool :) Overall it was a fabulous time and the girls had fun. We will definitely have to make more trips to the zoo in the future!

Hope everyone is finding fun activities to do despite the heat!

Stay Joyful,

~Sarah~

Loving HIM: His Mercies Never Fail

"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His mercies never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." (Lamentations3:22-23)

This passage came to my mind this morning as I was cleaning and organizing the new house. I was sitting in the 'baby' room putting the crib together and thinking about how things were supposed to be before everything happened with Levi. Its so easy to get lost in those daydreams and let the sadness and sometimes anger consume my day. How could all of your hopes and dreams be gone in one moment, especially when you had no say in it? Its something I truly cannot comprehend and sometimes it doesn't feel real. Its easy to be angry at the creator for changing things when everything seemed to be going so good. "I had so many plans God, why did you have to go and ruin them? I was doing fine before you stepped in and took it all away." I often feel these thoughts and feelings rising within me throughout the day and its hard to push past them. I came across a scripture this past week in Ecclesiastes that really convicted me and I have tried to reflect on this as much as possible.

"The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride. Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools. Do not say, “Why were the old days better than these?” For it is not wise to ask such questions." (Ecclesiastes 7:8-10)

This morning as I sat looking out the window while putting the crib together, its like it totally dawned on me that every day is new. I know that seems silly but it really hit me...why spend time reflecting and worrying about what has been and what could have been? That mindset is not going to move us forward or help us accomplish what we have prepared for us TODAY. Every day we have a mission from the creator. He is trying to accomplish something and if we will only listen to what his plans are for the moment, He might just choose us to accomplish these things. The knowledge of this gives me hope. Whether I can understand it or not, the creator of the universe is making things happen and if I will only reside in Him and find joy in what he has to say today, He might actually choose me to accomplish His will.

This truth is hard to accomplish many days. I'm often angry or sad and I wonder how I will even be able to get through the day much less accomplish anything for someone else. But today the Lord reminded me that His mercies are new every morning. Every day He WILL give us the strength to move forward and accomplish great things. He will always be faithful to us if we are faithful to Him. He allows all things for a reason and if we spend time being sad about His decisions, how can we let Him accomplish what He planned in the first place? I am an imperfect human being and I will struggle with this for the rest of my life but I know that even though I may feel drained and exhausted when I fall asleep in the evening, His mercies are new every morning. I know when I wake up He will once again take my hand and let me walk in His grace. Even a moment in His presence is worth every struggle left to overcome.

Backyard Fun!

This past Thursday my beautiful Aunt Jenny and my cousins Faith and Stephen came over to play and have dinner. Jenny made us an awesome comfort food meal of homemade mac and cheese and the kids had a blast playing! Of course, they couldn't stay out of the water and ended up having a water fight with the hose. I'm so loving having a backyard so we can do things like this! Here are a few pics I managed to get:

Sorry for the blurriness! I was taking these on my phone and through a window. I wasn't risking going outside and getting soaked :p As you can see, Stephen managed to get the most hose time and those girls were soaked!

How are you enjoying your backyard this summer?

Stay Joyful,

~Sarah~